slipcast-chrysalism

i i stopped in my tracks the first time i saw you. it wasn't the cheesy love at first sight things, it was more of "Damn, i didn't know people like you still existed." ii my mother still cries all i can do is hug her. iii there is an old man in a wheel chair with a grief-stricken face he visits  visited his wife everyday never brought flowers, i always bought two bouquets of roses for his grave. i never understood what this meant. iv i couldn't find my journal so i wrote this down at the back of my foreign policy analysis notebook. Stalin did not come out of his office for 3 days when Hitler betrayed him. i showed up every day since i los

there are dark circles under your eyes concealed by perfectly arched brows and acne scars that look like freckles. there is a worry-lines  wrinkle on the centre of your twenty-too-young forehead, and one just above your dimple. I guess, all i am saying is, the signs were there. they were always there.

you always did admire how i used to find the most beautiful of settings in the most revolting of places and then you wonder how i ever loved you.

i have vomited dreams, hope and love because they were meant to be discarded as waste; the result of bad decisions and poor judgement. learn to live as they want you to, little one you won't find what you're looking for here. praise the misconceptions as reality and condemn what you love the most, baby steps won't take you far, backflip, blindfolded into all the things that kept you up at night watch yourself slip through scrawny fingers and cracked skin, welcome the pain with arms wide open. home is not where the heart is but the one bedroom apartment shared with the boy you once thought you loved on a cold november night; a kiss in an a

the fire in your eyes was extinguished by the ice in your veins frozen from all the chilly winds exposed by the cuts and bruises bone deep but trivial to you because you always realized, the pain you made yourself go through after you lifted the weight from your skin, touching the satin-red marks with rough fingertips still oblivious to most of the damage because no one was there to point out to you how deeply you were really suffering.

you were the shipwreck that was discovered a bit too late to be saved but still soon enough to take you out of the cold waters, to look past the rust and cracks and savor what was and could have been. tragedy had knocked on your doors and taken him away because he just wanted closure, for his brother, his family andhimself you would think time, pain and loss would have hardened him. he was more good than you remembered. "Choking down sea water was easier than to breathe in fresh air",was your reply when he asked why you were so bitter even when your breath did not contain the taste of liquor and your acerbic smile was almost welcoming. t

i If I let you hold me While i break down every wall That actually held you more close to me Than separated us, Will it make you feel more of a man? ii I can see the cracks hidden underneath your veins, And the shadows they bring with them. You were more damage than I could handle But it didn't stop me. We both wished it did.

1.I've gotten really good at walking out on people. 2.He was only collateral damage. 3.There is an infinity carved on the tree where your head once used to rest. 4. You smell of apple cyder, musk and her. 5. She created drama when there was none because that is how she liked to be; weak. 6. I've never seen snow. 7. They always misinterpreted your emotions, didn't they?   8. He never got why she preferred sitting cross-legged on the floor. 9. She knew by memory to the last detail every crease that strained his face. 10. He never really understood her. 11. You're selfish and self-absorbed but that is partially my fault because I gave y

Was it worth it? Trading the taste of cinnamon on your lips To smell like cigarettes and a painful hangover. Was life so cruel to your perfectly skewed smile, That you had to swallow a bottle of brandy Every night at 9 pm To hear yourself laugh again? How could I have not noticed The tremor in your right hand Every time you held a pen? Was I so blind for the love you had for me to see That my love was destroying you? 'I am yours.'  You whispered when you still had Petrichor surrounding you. I inhaled your scent like oxygen, All the while I suffocated you like sulfur. You gave me your heart on a plate, And I was the last pill that took you